Helpful hints to become a WAAC player!

So in the spirit of the WAAC podcast* here are some helpful hints that I love to use to help me win, and I hope can spread the WAAC message!

Time Management 

Time is your friend. Remember, that there is no playing like slow playing!

First off, play an army that not only takes a long time to play, but dominates in the early game. I am talking Orks, Tryanids and Dark Eldar here. This way time is on your side. If the game only goes to turn 3-4 you are going to be in great shape, and all over the middle of the board and on all of the objectives, while your opponent will still be huddled in his deployment zone. So here are some quick tips to make sure your will never see turn #5:

1. After every game, make sure you put away your army back in your carrying case. Never use a tray or display board to move your army from one game to next. If you have to unpack everything every round you can easily chew up 30 minutes for your deployment.
2. Make sure you only have less than 10 dice. That way when you have to roll 36 attacks you have to roll the same group over and over again and try to keep track of how many hits and wounds that you have done. Every once in a while forget how many wounds/hits you have done so you have to re-roll them all again.
3. For every save you will want to roll one dice at a time. Tell your opponent you like to do it because it adds to the drama and makes the game more cinematic.
4. Ignorance is the shield that will protect you. Question every rule. If your opponent is digging through his codex every few minutes not only will it take time, it will take him out of his rhythm and he might forget something important. If that does happen remember that you are a WAAC player, so if he forgets something there is no going back!!! (Note: If you forget to do something, do not forget to ask if it is ok for you to go back).
5. Do not be afraid to call a rule judge over. The harder the judges are to find, the more you will want to use this. Note: There is a law of diminishing returns here because if you call them over too much they might camp out on your table and that will be bad. A WAAC player does not want “The Man” to be sweating him, so be sure they leave before resuming your normal play style.
6. Keep your eye on the clock. You want to time it so that you know that you will have the last turn so you can do an objective grab. If you mistime it so that there is an extra 10 or 15 minutes tell your opponent that you can not finish another turn and argue it so that by the time he gets a judge it will too late to play another turn.

General WAAC Tactics
Here are some other helpful tips that I have found that have helped me in the past:

1. If you can get some dice that you can’t see what you rolled from across the table, they are keepers. I have some see-thru yellow dice that have white pips that I have had sitting in the sun for a few months so they get nice and bleached so no one has any idea what I just rolled. Heck, half of the time I have no I idea what I rolled myself, but just say confidently a good number of hits, and pick up that many dice.
2. Never use army builder, and you will also want to stay away from Excel or a printer altogether. Pencil and paper are the official army list maker for the WAAC gamer. Remember never put stats lines or even what they are equipped with. Heck just put the unit cost if you have to. Remember also that penmanship is not rewarded, and in fact the worse it is, the less likely that your list will be scrutinized. So be sure to make a lot of mistakes and do a lot of erasing.
3. Take a couple of army lists. Tournaments never check these things from round to round, so be sure to use the best tool for the job. That is what the real army would do right?
4. If you get the chance, move around to your opponent’s side of the table and stand right next to your opponent. This works best when you invade your opponent’s personal space. Remember, you want him to think about why you are standing so close to him, and not focusing on the game.
5. Grey is your friend. If there is no painting requirement, why bother? You are not there to look pretty but to beat face. Make sure all of your models are unpainted so that your opponent will not know where one unit ends, and the other begins. This way you can do the old shell game to help out squad sizes where you need them.
6. Do not declare what you are rolling for until after you have rolled the dice. This will greatly increase your success rate with your dice rolls.
7.  Never put out a vehicle damage marker. That way you can forget what damage was done. When you move an immobilized vehicle a couple of turns after it happened you will rarely get called on it. Also you can get into arguments about what damage vehicles took, and if they were stunned or not.
8. In a tournament with battle points remember to never get the maximum points. For example: If 20 was the most you can get, you should only get 19. That way the other WAAC gamers will have to play each other, and hopefully there will still be a baby seal or two that still needs a good clubbing that got lucky the first round.
9. WAAC players flock together. If you are your friends are the best group around and you want to prove it to yourselves and others, and are the types to make others rage quit what you do is start a pool where each of you put in $5 before each tournament and the first one who can make their opponent cry gets the pot.
10. Constantly accuse your opponent of cheating. That will get him on the defensive so he will not accuse you of cheating.

This are just scratching the surface and I hope these tips help my fellow WAAC players!

* *Note: the WAAC podcast was a joke that the 11th Company Podcast did to celibrate their 100th episode. These tactics are presented in a similar spirit.